Mad Scientist/Blackout

Sorry it took me so long to post again. When PhilMo was here we slept with the window open so I’ve had a cold for the past week and a half. Life hasn’t been so exciting. Bummer and a half.

Last night Boss Man wanted to have a drunk brainstorming session with me and Michelle, one of our food writers. My creative juices flow surprisingly well under the influence of tequila and vodka. I had some seriously stellar ideas. It was great. So one of my ideas was altoids as sex-cessories. I popped one in my mouth for a minute and proceeded to stick it to my naughty bits. OH MY GOD! It was amazing!! I’m definitely going to start doing that before doing things like getting on the subway or going out…places where I can’t really squirm. That should be funny. I imagine that would improve the taste of my cha-cha too. I’ll be sure to test that ASAP. I also really want to try mixing binaca and lube. How much fun would that be??

When we were done brainstorming, Michelle and I agreed that we weren’t done drinking. Since we were already in the west village, we headed toward Off the Wagon—home to my favorite sexy bartender. The only problem was, we were already so shit canned that we couldn’t find it. We were walking around FOREVER trying to figure out where we were going and I seriously got us a cab to go about 5 blocks. This would have been a good time to notice that big red flag that said “It’s time to lay off the booze for the night ladies.” Unfortunately we were much too drunk to be reading. Upon our arrival we barely squeezed in the door and eventually made it up to the bar. My hot piece of man meat bartender was nowhere to be found. I ordered a round and started in on my very unnecessary cocktail. I really don’t remember what happened while we were there. At all, except when I told the bartender to take a shot with me and to surprise me. I have no idea what I drank, but I know he didn’t charge me for it. I guess after that Michelle and I called it a night. Maybe the bar closed. I really don’t remember.