A Trip To The Dentist

Saturday night turned out to be a lovely success. Alex scored another guest bar gig at a place in Times Square and told them he wanted to work with me so I was all in. Lots of people showed up to see me, so that was a lot of fun. Remember Jay from last weekend? He was in his board exam from 8am to 5pm but still made it out to the bar. He is seriously hot. When I met him he was shy about the approach, but then once he warmed up, he was funny and nice and…sexy. He was chatting it up with Ellie and the guy she invited so it was good that I wasn’t having to babysit or feel bad that I wasn’t paying a ton of attention to him. Brownie points. I only worked until 11pm and Ellie was pretty drunk already so she wanted to hit up the mother ship, Off The Mutherfuckin Wagon. We took the two boys along. It was a little odd to already have a boy when I got there…Of course the bartender who I told to stop serving me when I started making out with people (let’s just call him Charlie even though I don’t know his name) was there and looked SO excited to see me. I wonder why. OH, he was pumped to make fun of my trashy make out habits. It was so funny. Then he told another one of the bartenders. Not only do they know Dixie, but they know Dixie make-out-a-lot. That would be embarrassing if I cared. As long as I was standing anywhere near the bar, it was coming at me. Maybe that will encourage me to stop…?

So I got to talk to Jay a lot while we were out. He’s 28, grew up in a small town in Wisconsin, and is actually a dentist. He went back to NYU to study oral surgery and he’ll be moving to Houston in June. I totally thought was maybe 24 or 25. Of course I made him guess how old I am when I found out he was 28. He guessed me 4-5 years too old, the oldest I have ever been guessed for. I really hope it was because he thinks I’m mature and not old looking. Our conversation was a little difficult because he’s SO much taller than me (HOT) and I was wearing flats from bartending. It was a cute awkwardness..I think. I had to slightly fill him in on the making out thing. I obviously couldn’t lie about it. He asked if it was recent so I very much lied about that. I thought it would not be good to say, “Oh yes, two nights after I met you I made out with a guy from Texas and then on Thursday night I made out with a British man named Stewart.” No. At some point Ellie and her boy toy ran off to avoid someone she didn’t want see, but I thought they had actually left the bar. Jay and I left, uh, sometime and I get a call from Ellie when we were down the street in the cab. Luckily we hadn’t gotten very far because I forgot that I had her keys in my purse. Jay told the driver to pull over and he ran down to the bar and gave them to her. Sweetheart. Oh and when we were leaving the bar he said he wasn’t gonna try to make out with me, but asked if he could hold my hand. Adorable, no? We headed to his place, which turns out to be walking distance from mine. He put on some comedy DVD but my ass passed out on the couch like, 10 minutes into it. That is, until we started making out. Being on the couch got old, so we headed for bed. We were both so exhausted, but we messed around for a while and eventually had sex. I’m confident we can both do better that that though. I’m going to blame it on him being awake for 24 hours and both of us being drunk. Let me tell you though, I thought this guy was shy. Not so much once he gets you in bed.

Sunday we slept (way) in and then basically lounged all day. We literally watched TV, talked, and ate until 7pm, when I decided I should finally get home. (I've never done a walk of shame that late.) Everything was nice though. He walked me down a little ways and kissed me goodbye. He’s supposed to call me this week. I really hope he does. I think I might actually like this one.

Uh oh.

Hanky Panky

Another eventful Thursday night…

With the never-ending nightlife choices in our fair city, Ellie and I decided to check out a couple new places last night. Although we hate to spend a lot of money, so we did some pre-gaming here and didn’t get out of the apartment until midnight. Whatever, that still left us 4 hours to drink. We started the night at Tortilla Flats, which is really a Mexican restaurant, but they were supposed to have good margaritas. SUPPOSED to. We weren’t that impressed. Even though the bar was starting to fill up we headed out to booze elsewhere. We grabbed a cab and our driver had good music and we were drunk enough to jam out hardcore. He LOVED us. He gave us his number so we can call him for rides. Our second stop was the MacDougal Ale House (or something). We pretty much walked up to the door, noticed that there was nobody there, and walked across the street to, you guessed it, Off The Wagon!! Kyle wasn’t there, but the bartender who always sees me was there so we were greeted with a giggle and our usual drinks. Of course no trip there would be complete without meeting some kind of character. We hung around for a little while and noticed a group of guys who seemed like they wanted to strike up a conversation. Turns out they were all from London, complete with adorable accents. A couple of them played beer pong for the first time while Ellie and I taught the other two flip cup. Fun was had by all. I mean, who doesn’t love beer pong and flip cup? Keeping with my latest trend, I had a serious make out session with one of the Brits. He was so cute! I actually told the bartender that when I start making out with people to serve me water…but that this time it was okay. I wonder if he thinks I go home with these guys. I have to stop this madness.

BTW, I looked it up and 'hanky panky' is the legit british slang term for making out. How clever am I??

Sausage Buffet For One, No Salad Bar, Large Drink of Water

Some tidbits…

I seriously think Cory has another girl. It’s not so much that I can’t deal with that (I mean hello, look at me), but he’s a bad liar about it. Don’t tell me that you’re having dinner later with clients…at 10pm on Friday. Also, it probably isn’t a good move to ask me 5 times what I’m doing for the Superbowl the week before, not call me at all the week of, and then text me the next day saying you just ‘chilled’ with Vince. Whatever.

I’m almost certain PhilMo is over me, but I will continue to keep myself in his mind because he is an absolute superb lay.

Friday night, man, well Ellie and I met a TON of interesting people. Mostly total weirdos but I met a very sweet, very CUTE future oral surgeon named Jay. We’ve talked a bit and we’re talking about going out for a little while on Friday but nothing too intense. He’s got a board exam on Saturday. That’s kind of sexy, huh?

Remember the guy I did the guest bar gig with? Well I had dinner with him Wednesday. It was nothing spectacular like he made it sound, but it was good, definitely edible and satisfying. We watched Disturbia after dinner, which scared the piss out of me. He was trying to be the studly man and put his arm around me to save me from the scary movie, but I pretty much resisted. He’s a cool guy, but uh, he’s my height, has a gut, and seems a little sloppy or something…not sure why though. His name is Alex, by the way. How rude of me to trash talk without introduction.

After the Giants won the Superbowl (fucking amazing game if you didn’t see it…) we decided to leave the bar where we had a table for Off The Wagon. That place never fails. Zagat labels it as a ‘sausage fest’ which is good when you are a ‘sausage’ receiver. My sexy bartender Kyle was there so of course I claimed me a seat at the bar and clicked the pheromones up a notch, BAM! He gave me a LOT of free shots, like I couldn’t even tell you how many. It was enough to make me go outside and smoke a cigarette with him. I KNOW. I don’t smoke, but I had to talk to that hot piece of ass. Kyle is an actor and I want to make out with him as soon as possible.

Another guy I met that night, after Kyle was relieved of duty of course, was a guy who lived in my same college town when I was there. Seriously?? It was so trippy. He was kind of cute and we were totally making out right there at the bar. I’m fucking tacky. I think I’m going to instruct the Off The Wagon crew to stop serving me when I start making out with people. I want them to switch my drink with something offensive, like warm water with a lemon or a shot glass full of olive juice.

Here’s to hoping this weekend will be as…out there.