Ay Dios Mio, What A Weekend

Thursday night Cory called and said he was going to crash in the city and asked if I wanted to hang out. He brought over some wine and we had a glass before deciding that we wanted to grab a bite. We actually walked around my neighborhood for a while looking for something eye-catching and wandered into a Peruvian place. However, upon seeing cow heart on the menu, Cory decided he was not a fan. We were back on the prowl for another place when his friend Jimmy called, apparently after a bad date. He met us at a Thai place on 2^nd Ave…making every date I’ve had with Cory a group affair. Seriously, we have never been out alone. I don’t mind really. It’s just kind of odd that we’ve never had a night out without any of our friends around. We drank, ate, and drank lots more between the restaurant and return to my apartment. I’d say we made it through about half a movie before we were ready to hit the sheets dirty style. Delicious buzz sex ensued. Afterwards, we heard Ellie’s drunk ass come in with a guy and my drunk ass wanted to say hello to both of them. Ellie bitched Cory out for a minute about being M.I.A. lately (which he has been…another woman? Hm). Cory and I were ass naked mind you. What can I say though, I sweat perfume and I piss class. We followed with another go at the nasty, a few hours of sleep, and some more sweet morning lovin’. That’s the most sex Cory and I have ever had together, and I was not complaining.

Friday was a bit different. I had a guest bartending spot at a bar that I LOVE. It’s actually the place I discovered PhilMo. I worked during happy hour and then proceeded to drink myself retarded on the other side of the bar. Ellie and Michelle were there so I was hanging out with them and some bar customers. I managed to arrange a dinner for Wednesday with my fellow guest bartender. (He is cooking for me.) I also seemed to make an impression on his boss…who wants to take me out. To top this off, I was, for some unknown reason, dancing and totally MAKING OUT with a bald European guy. At some point Ellie heads home, but I was busy bobbing my head with Euro-trash and stayed until sometime after 2. I eventually was so drunk and hungry that I headed out and he tried to follow me. Luckily my common sense finally kicked in and I went home to get food alone and walked home gnawing on chicken strips.

Saturday we had gone out to Brooklyn for Mark’s art show, but once again heard from Cory. He and Vince (superhotfriend) invited us up to Westchester for the night. Naturally, we made a run for home and got on the first train we could catch. The boys picked us up in Vince’s new Porsche Cayenne and when we got back to the house, they basically fed us and got us drunk. I learned a couple new drinking games too…For some reason though, I wasn’t really feeling sex-y. I started to fall asleep with Cory on the couch and I guess Vince and Ellie had already gone upstairs. We were messing around…still nothing. We headed up to bed and I indulged his wants, but I really didn’t get anything out of it. It was really strange after how things were on Thursday night. What’s my problem??

I got a news flash this morning. I went to gossip with Ellie about the night’s happenings and she dropped a bomb that I was NOT expecting. Cory is divorced. WHAT?! Now I understand that he’s older than I am, but he has never ever mentioned anything like this. Ever. Now I’m wondering why he hasn’t told me, when he will tell me, and a hundred other details about him and this marriage. I’m not sure what to think, but I know I’m going to let him tell me on his own watch. It’s not really my business, but it is kind of a big deal in a relationship, is it not?

Four Letter Words

Why is it that I could walk up to just about any man I know, say, “Go fuck yourself”, and walk away probably feeling good about myself? Is it because I’m not scared of who I’m saying it to? Is it because I feel confident enough to drop the F-bomb to just about anyone? Is it because I’m drunk and a bitchy?

And why do I have so much trouble talking to someone I really care about and saying, “I love you”? Is it because I’m scared of who I’m saying it to? Is it because I’m not confident enough to use the L-word in certain situations? Is it because I’m intimidated and afraid?

L-O-V-E. It means a lot of different things to everyone. There are so many people in my life to love. I have no trouble voicing that in most cases. I end a great deal of e-mails and phone conversations with those three magic words. I really like for people to know that they are loved. It’s a good feeling, to love and be loved. But what about when love is the chink in your armor; when it has the power to make you totally vulnerable and hurt you?

I feel like it’s such a loaded word. There are expectations and commitments attached that make it such a huge deal, that it’s stressful to say. I don’t want it to be like that this time. Ever since I made the decision to move, I’ve wanted to tell Brandon that I love him. Of course I needed to take his feelings into consideration too, so I decided to wait. That was just not the right time. As we approach the one year mark, I think we should talk about where we are in the whole thing. I’m obviously not ready for any legit commitment, but I care about him so much, I’m not ready to lose him, and I want to know what he’s thinking. He’s incredibly difficult to read emotionally. I honestly couldn’t tell you how much he even likes me. He might have stayed with me through the move just so he didn’t have to do any dirty work. I totally doubt that, but you know what I’m saying here. It seems like I’m going to have to do so much explaining when I finally get the balls to open my mouth. I don’t want him to think I’m looking to get married or that I’m expecting anything from him. He’s just really special to me and I want him to know…without fucking anything up. UGH, how am I supposed to do this?

Mad Scientist/Blackout

Sorry it took me so long to post again. When PhilMo was here we slept with the window open so I’ve had a cold for the past week and a half. Life hasn’t been so exciting. Bummer and a half.

Last night Boss Man wanted to have a drunk brainstorming session with me and Michelle, one of our food writers. My creative juices flow surprisingly well under the influence of tequila and vodka. I had some seriously stellar ideas. It was great. So one of my ideas was altoids as sex-cessories. I popped one in my mouth for a minute and proceeded to stick it to my naughty bits. OH MY GOD! It was amazing!! I’m definitely going to start doing that before doing things like getting on the subway or going out…places where I can’t really squirm. That should be funny. I imagine that would improve the taste of my cha-cha too. I’ll be sure to test that ASAP. I also really want to try mixing binaca and lube. How much fun would that be??

When we were done brainstorming, Michelle and I agreed that we weren’t done drinking. Since we were already in the west village, we headed toward Off the Wagon—home to my favorite sexy bartender. The only problem was, we were already so shit canned that we couldn’t find it. We were walking around FOREVER trying to figure out where we were going and I seriously got us a cab to go about 5 blocks. This would have been a good time to notice that big red flag that said “It’s time to lay off the booze for the night ladies.” Unfortunately we were much too drunk to be reading. Upon our arrival we barely squeezed in the door and eventually made it up to the bar. My hot piece of man meat bartender was nowhere to be found. I ordered a round and started in on my very unnecessary cocktail. I really don’t remember what happened while we were there. At all, except when I told the bartender to take a shot with me and to surprise me. I have no idea what I drank, but I know he didn’t charge me for it. I guess after that Michelle and I called it a night. Maybe the bar closed. I really don’t remember.

Dixie Legs-In-The-Air

I’m not even sure where to start this one, so I guess I’ll just try it from the beginning…

On Wednesday I was talking to PhilMo(hawk) and asked when he was going to be back in the city. He basically told me he’d come in whenever I wanted him to. Do you see what I mean by the puppy thing? Anyway, I told him, knowing that we would be having a lot of loud, obnoxious, geographically unpredictable sex, he should come Thursday or Friday before Ellie’s return. We agreed on him coming Thursday, and as it turns out, a bunch of his friends were coming into the city too. Apparently a guy they know was spinning at a club in Chelsea, so I decided to meet him there. And kids, this fucking club, let me tell you… Not only did I have to shell out 20 bucks to get in, but it was 18+. What. The. Fuck. It did amuse me to see all the little girls who are up that boy’s ass though. Good God. At least they weren’t bitchy, and they better be glad I’m not the jealous type. It is always nice to know that you’re the one going home with the hottie, no? If I wasn’t so sure, the claws might have come out. Although, I’m not one to try too hard. If he wants me, I’ll know it. So the night is progressing at this shit-tastic club but at least the Mohawk and I are getting drunk. We totally avoided the dance floor and clung to the bar like the borderline alcoholics that we are. At some point we were (sexually) frustrated by the limitations of (acceptable) PDA and made a joint run for the (single) men’s bathroom. We argued for a minute about whether or not the shelf would break if I sat on it, but that got old quickly and I found myself slammed against the wall getting my hair pulled. Pretty soon there was a hand in my pants and it knew exactly what it was doing. Some chick started pounding on the door, but she was looking for someone who was not either of us so we told her to run along. Eventually it was time to let someone else use the bathroom, so he licked his dirty fingers and we left…aaand ran into one of his friends who was waiting for the bathroom. Nice. We hung around for a while after that, but I’m pretty sure we left before 2. I was gung-ho for taking the subway home, cause that’s how I do, but he really wanted to take a cab. I somewhat recall a conversation PhilMo started with Mr. Cabbie, asking if it was ok for us to have sex and if people had ever done it before. We refrained. We weren’t too far from my place anyway.

We barely made it into the elevator before we were hot at it again. The details are fuzzy at this point, but I know we got naked in the living room and got dirty on the couch for a while. I paused round 1 to makes more drinks. Who does that? Dixie, baby. I needed to pace myself anyway. I think we moved to my bed after that, but I’m not sure. It could have easily been the kitchen, the bathroom, or the hallway with the mirror. Round 1 was REALLY long and I only remember bits and pieces. Around 7am I woke up long enough to get the fire started again for round 2. Half-awake zombie sex is so hot and delish, but I don’t know why.

I couldn’t tell you how many times we hit it today, but I do know it was in, out, forwards, backwards, and upside down. He’s just so fuckin’ sexy, I can’t help myself. My ass is red from getting smacked. My back is a mess from getting scratched. I’m missing hair from getting it pulled. My neck is sore from being bitten and choked… and my tiger is, well, ripped to shreds. He may be young, but he’s not a little boy.

The Mohawk and I had a really good time together. I know he goes out with some other girl, who I’m pretty sure is an 18 year old stripper, but I don’t really care. I’m not exactly the monogamous type myself. He does occasionally make reference to me being ‘his’ though. I’m not sure if he wants to actually be with me or if he’s like me and just wants to know how badly I want him. I think I’m happy with the current arrangement. I have to admit though, I love checking my phone and seeing, “ur gonna fuckin get iiiiitttttt”.

"We don't go to the mall. We don't go out to eat, eat, eat. All that we ever do is play in the sheets, sheets, sheets. Smoke us a cigarette and go back to sleep, sleep, sleep..."
--Snoop (peep the vid)

Yankee boy did what??

Moving is always a pain in the ass, but Cory seems to have taken the process to a new level of complication. He’s got two houses he’s trying to sell, all the while not having a place in Manhattan to move into. My dear, what exactly are you thinking? Oh wait, he was thinking that he’s got a bunch of friends who are rich too. He can just bum a house from someone. Right now he’s staying at an amazing house in the beautiful hills of Westchester County. He called yesterday inviting me up to have dinner and stay the night. Naturally I had to see this place, especially since I hadn’t been up to Westchester yet. I caught an evening train and was greeted by Cory’s adorable face when I arrived. We went back to the house and I got meet his (seriously hot) friend Vince.

Now being from the south, I am used to playing hostess and doing all the cooking while the boys sit around and act like they are serving a purpose by watching TV or falling asleep on the couch. I was in for a very pleasant surprise. Cory and Vince poured me a glass of wine, set out a nice hors d’oeuvres plate, and proceeded to make a fucking delicious meal with absolutely no help from myself or any other female. A few glasses of wine got me over the almost awkward shock of men cooking for me. I wish Ellie had been there to appreciate that phenomenon with me, but her ass is still out of town. After dinner and a good buzz we ordered a movie and relaxed by the fire…and waited for Vince to go to bed. Once Cory and I had the living room to ourselves we made good use of that big, cozy couch. Outside, it was pitch black and we had just enough light from the crackling fire to find our ways around each other. It was that easy, relaxing kind of sex that’s perfect right after you’ve had some drinks and an amazing dinner. Ohhh baby...

This morning I woke up to Cory bringing me orange juice. Papa knows what I like. I could have gone back into the city with Vince, but I really didn’t have shit to do today. I decided to stay in Westchester with Cory and it turned out to be a lazy day since he was upstairs working most of the time. My time was spent having my breakfast and lunch served to me and otherwise lounging. I could live like this.

I just worry. Is Cory too good to be true? What’s going to happen when he lives in the city? He doesn’t seem to be rushing into anything serious, but I know how I am with commitment…

Allow me to introduce myself...

Hi there folks. Welcome to Dixieland. I hail from the great state of Texas, but I decided to up and move to New York City. I’ve only been here a few months and I can hardly keep up with the trouble I get into. Time to start writing things down, no? First I think I should start by introducing the current main characters (They’re characters, not people, trust me.) in my life:

Dixie- Me, obviously. I’m the twenty-something adventurous type. I am loud. I drink too much and I’ve slept with a slightly unnecessary number of people. I live in Manhattan, so I have to pick and choose where I spend my money after rent. I prefer to blow most of it on clothes and booze.

Ellie- My best friend. This bitch has been my partner in crime since I was 10 years old. Now we live together and we love every second of it. We’ve seen each other through a lot and there is no problem or man we can’t handle. I couldn’t have dreamed up a better friend.

Brandon- The man I left. We didn’t break up when I moved to the city. I wasn’t ready to end that relationship. I mean, it could still work providing he doesn’t find out about the things I really do. He’s not what I would describe as brilliant or successful, but damnit, I like him anyway.

Cory- The fat wallet. I met Cory at a party on the Upper East Side. I don’t think we’ve ever had a bill or tab that was less than $100…even at lunch. He’s older than me, but nothing outrageous. He’s super sweet and he’s about to move out of his house on Long Island and into Manhattan. Can I handle him being closer? Hide and watch.

PhilMo- Still in the cradle. I don’t get with guys younger than myself, but I spotted this one across the bar and said “I want THAT one.” In general he’s worthless, but he’s sort of like a puppy; very excited, likes to be on me, and loyal (enough for me). Did I mention I can’t wait to fuck him? It’s going to be spectacular.

Many more will make appearances. I actually have two lined up but they haven’t earned an introduction yet. I’d love to stay and tell a story or two but I think it’s time to go get drunk in Brooklyn. Ciao!