Sausage Buffet For One, No Salad Bar, Large Drink of Water

Some tidbits…

I seriously think Cory has another girl. It’s not so much that I can’t deal with that (I mean hello, look at me), but he’s a bad liar about it. Don’t tell me that you’re having dinner later with clients…at 10pm on Friday. Also, it probably isn’t a good move to ask me 5 times what I’m doing for the Superbowl the week before, not call me at all the week of, and then text me the next day saying you just ‘chilled’ with Vince. Whatever.

I’m almost certain PhilMo is over me, but I will continue to keep myself in his mind because he is an absolute superb lay.

Friday night, man, well Ellie and I met a TON of interesting people. Mostly total weirdos but I met a very sweet, very CUTE future oral surgeon named Jay. We’ve talked a bit and we’re talking about going out for a little while on Friday but nothing too intense. He’s got a board exam on Saturday. That’s kind of sexy, huh?

Remember the guy I did the guest bar gig with? Well I had dinner with him Wednesday. It was nothing spectacular like he made it sound, but it was good, definitely edible and satisfying. We watched Disturbia after dinner, which scared the piss out of me. He was trying to be the studly man and put his arm around me to save me from the scary movie, but I pretty much resisted. He’s a cool guy, but uh, he’s my height, has a gut, and seems a little sloppy or something…not sure why though. His name is Alex, by the way. How rude of me to trash talk without introduction.

After the Giants won the Superbowl (fucking amazing game if you didn’t see it…) we decided to leave the bar where we had a table for Off The Wagon. That place never fails. Zagat labels it as a ‘sausage fest’ which is good when you are a ‘sausage’ receiver. My sexy bartender Kyle was there so of course I claimed me a seat at the bar and clicked the pheromones up a notch, BAM! He gave me a LOT of free shots, like I couldn’t even tell you how many. It was enough to make me go outside and smoke a cigarette with him. I KNOW. I don’t smoke, but I had to talk to that hot piece of ass. Kyle is an actor and I want to make out with him as soon as possible.

Another guy I met that night, after Kyle was relieved of duty of course, was a guy who lived in my same college town when I was there. Seriously?? It was so trippy. He was kind of cute and we were totally making out right there at the bar. I’m fucking tacky. I think I’m going to instruct the Off The Wagon crew to stop serving me when I start making out with people. I want them to switch my drink with something offensive, like warm water with a lemon or a shot glass full of olive juice.

Here’s to hoping this weekend will be as…out there.